How One Habit Changed My Life…

“ We first make our habits and then our habits make us” 

John Dryden 

Each day I wake up and I follow the same routine. 

I brush my teeth

I put on my workout clothes

I read, journal, meditate - sometimes all three, sometime only one of the three.

I practice yoga

I workout

It's this routine that sets the stage for my day, no matter where I am.

To some, my routine might seem "too much" or even obsessive, but for me, it's the essential set of practices that kick-start my mornings.

The journey to where I am today wasn't a sprint; it's been a decade-long marathon of intentionally crafting habits. However, the impact of a single, simple habit should not be underestimated. It was nothing short of monumental, transforming my life in ways that might seem dramatic but are deeply true.  

The concept of 'habit' is frequently misinterpreted. We casually use the term, often overlooking its profound impact on our lives. Consider that nearly half of our actions each day are habitual, executed with little to no conscious thought. The alternative would be to engage in a mentally taxing process—meticulously considering every minor decision we encounter, an effort that would leave us utterly drained.

Despite understanding this, there's often a disconnect when it comes to forming new, positive habits. Even with our brains' inherent ability to adapt to these patterns, we find ourselves battling to make them stick. It's a curious aspect of human nature: we are creatures of habit, yet we resist forming the very routines that are designed to benefit us. 

In this blog series, I'll delve into the importance of habits for transforming not just your mindset but your entire way of life.

My love affair with habits started back in 2014 when my twins were 18-months old. Managing twins certainly teaches you the value of routine. And while discipline often stems from necessity, it can evolve into a choice. By the time my twins were 13 months old, I had begun to reclaim aspects of my identity. I was balancing work and motherhood, finding my way back to myself.

I’m going to be completely honest here - my self-image had been a bit of a battleground for most of my life until that point. Looking in the mirror often left me feeling less than comfortable with what I saw. And if one more person hinted at a pregnancy (yep, even 18 months postpartum), my capacity to maintain a sense of humour about it was wearing dangerously thin. Admitting this is crucial because my feelings about my body, coupled with the feedback I was getting from the world around me played into my deepest insecurities.

When my twins hit the 12-week mark, I tried to get back into attending classes at the gym. But, wow, was it tough! I'd either miss the sessions because of last-minute feeds or because one of the kids needed an entire outfit change while the other had a meltdown. It was easier to bail than to deal with the chaos.

I was finding it hard to address the challenge, but I was also desperate for a change. At the time, it was hard to remember a time when I was comfortable with my body—except maybe during pregnancy. For a while, I was stuck in a loop of self-doubt, wondering if I had the energy or if change was even possible, while also trying to reassure myself with thoughts like "Having twins is tough" or "You’ve come a long way from last year," which was true but also a very easy way to self-sabotage

This inner dialogue was me bargaining, trying, and failing before finally reaching a turning point.

The breakthrough came in the form of a 12-week fitness program that demanded just 25 minutes of intense cardio daily. Could I spare that much time six days a week? Initially, I was sceptical, but the motivation to lose weight and get fit pushed me to give it a shot.

I began my workout routine in the evenings - squeezed in after the kids were asleep. Each session was exhausting but oddly satisfying, and each completed workout filled me with relief and a sense of achievement. There was a mix of reluctance and determination each night — a part of me resisted the effort, while the other part was keen on ticking another day off the calendar. With each day that passed, I felt a surprising lift. Sure, I was exhausted by the end, but there was also a smile of relief and a sense of pride for having made it through. It was a new experience.

The workout program called T25, crafted by Shaun T, turned out to be as inspiring as it was an ass-kicking. His script focused on relentless encouragement, offering me an antidote to that nagging inner critic who often tried to convince me I wasn't strong enough or good enough. The affirming language he used proved to be incredibly valuable, offering me a refreshing and constructive alternate narrative, to the one I was used to, that fostered growth and resilience. It gave me the room to persist, to push beyond my limits, and ultimately, to cultivate self-belief.

The temptation to skip a workout was often there—restless kids, a chaotic house, or just plain tiredness. Yet, as I noticed improvements, the thought of quitting started to lose its hold on me, pushing me to adjust my mindset. The real challenge was timing; ending my day with exercise meant that any delay, be it the kids' bedtime antics or unexpected chores, added stress and could push my workout too late into the evening.

Then it hit me, that 'aha!' moment: Why not switch to morning workouts, getting them done before the daily chaos kicked in? I was lucky that my kids didn’t wake up at the crack of dawn, so I had some time to “play with”. Initially, the thought was intimidating, but this simple change to a morning routine was the key that made all the difference.

Switching to morning workouts was a pivotal moment for me. It allowed me to take charge of my day from the start and, without my realizing it at the time, set the stage for new habits that have since become a part of my life.

As the initial 12-week program was coming to an end, I faced a decision: repeat the process or embark on a new fitness journey. I quickly realised that the structured schedule of the programme - knowing which exercises to do and when - played a crucial role in keeping me focused. This approach didn't just help me stick with the workouts; it consistently nudged me out of my comfort zone.

Choosing to persist with my new regime wasn't just a continuation of a fitness journey, it signalled the start of a profound shift in my mindset. Originally, I turned to exercise as a means to lose weight, to somehow 'fix' my body. However, as I committed to daily physical activity, I discovered the importance of a mental transformation as well. It became clear that it was crucial to shed the self-imposed limitations and labels that had long defined my self-perception.

During my workouts, I was exposed to a new positive narrative that encouraged growth and self-love.  They instilled in me the understanding that change isn't a product of wishful thinking; it's forged through deliberate and consistent action. This realisation coupled with a new perspective – exercise is about loving yourself not punishing yourself - propelled me into an entirely new realm of thought.

In May 2014, I embarked on a 12-week workout regimen that I hoped would transform my body and reduce the shame I felt when looking in the mirror. While there were physical changes, they paled in comparison to the profound shifts in my thinking. The most significant transformation was my relationship with myself – how I began to see and treat myself changed in monumental ways.

And if you were to ask how much of this change I credit to establishing that one habit, well, let me share...

A single habit of working out each day underscored the vital lesson of putting myself first. The wellbeing routine that I began as a deliberate practice gradually evolved, becoming an instinctive, integral part of my daily life. No longer just a task to check off a list, it transformed into an indispensable element of my identity, shaping who I am and how I live each day.

"Practice" truly is the key word — it implies a process of ongoing effort and dedication. Some time ago, I discovered Darren Hardy's 'The Compound Effect.' This book reinforces the profound impact of small, consistent actions and how, over time, they accumulate to produce remarkable transformations in our lives.

"Small, Smart Choices + Consistency + Time = RADICAL DIFFERENCE"

- Darren Hardy, The Compound Effect

First, I began with workouts, then more walking, followed by drinking more water and nourishing my body with good whole food. As I expanded my reading, I started to confront and challenge the negative inner monologue that was eroding my self-esteem and belief in my abilities. I began to leverage my strengths, cultivating the areas within me that needed growth.

Engaging in positive actions for my body revealed its untapped potential, prompting me to question self-imposed and external constraints. It wasn't about proving something; it was about valuing this one life, this one body, every single day. Mediocrity was no longer enough; I yearned for more than just "okay."

I learnt to love myself – reaching a point where I could look at my reflection and genuinely value what I saw, beyond any flaws or imperfections. My exercise routine shifted focus; it became about building strength in both mind and body, not just chasing a certain body shape. I adopted positive lifestyle choices that celebrated my body, rather than limiting or punishing it.

This shift in mindset brought clarity and purpose to my actions. No longer am I a casualty to the inner critic or societal labels. It's not a smooth ride—there are struggles, but now I navigate those bumps with awareness, not letting them deter or control me.

Reflecting on the past decade, it's clear that so much of the positive transformation in my life springs from that initial, purposeful habit I adopted. It's remarkable to recognise the ripple effect it's had—not just on me, but on my family as well.

I've learned the profound importance of carving out time for myself, and this practice has made me a better mother and wife. The best part? My family sees it too.

My husband, inspired by my consistency, has found his passion in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and has remained dedicated to it for two years (as well as our regular workouts together) —a significant achievement for him. I see my children embracing self-care, forming healthy habits, and accepting challenges with open arms.

The most heart-warming testament to these changes is seeing my daughter's relationship with her body. Unlike my younger self, who struggled with body image, she celebrates her curves and muscles, exuding strength and confidence. It’s a beautiful, unforeseen payoff of the habits I’ve nurtured.

Habits also provided support during life's storms, like the lockdowns during COVID, my established habits served as a lifeline, anchoring my mornings and helping me regulate my nervous system when it was most needed. And in the wake of my dad's passing—a time that hit me so hard—it was the gentle discipline of yoga that sustained me through his final days and beyond. These experiences have deepened my appreciation for habits, revealing their power to guide us even when we're wandering through the darkness, searching for light.

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